March 2012
February 2012
marry me
New STD called "feelings" don't catch that shit.
my roommate texting me while i was out of service
Dan: dude pick up eggs while you're in town, i'll pay you back
Dan: dog! get eggs and i'll BLOW YOU
Dan: DUDE! EGGS. BROWNIE MOUNTAIN.
Dan: 911 HELP GET EGGS
Me: Pulls into driveway
Dan: oh fuck you dude
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